I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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