He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
