Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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