walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I love having hate sex.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize