the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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