They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
