I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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