It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
