how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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