Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
