If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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