i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
