There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you had me at cake vodka
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
