I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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