Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize