It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
