she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
last night I used snow as a chaser
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
