Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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