I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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