but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
