i will never coherently bang her
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
