I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
