I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Randomize
