I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize