Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
