That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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