She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
