im drinking this country out of the recession.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
