so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
