its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
