oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
