Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
