me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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