I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
