Having a random hookup so left but love u
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
