Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I want to fling myself into the sun
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
