They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he shaved USA in his pubs
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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