He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
