yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
