Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
