the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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