it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
