I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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