Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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