Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
