i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's never too late to be topless.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
