"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
