Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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