If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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