Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
