He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
