My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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