i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize