I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Enjoy the penises
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
