You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize