i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
