is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize