She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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