I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
