Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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