The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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