I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
