I accidentally burped into my bong.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
