if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
