Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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