There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
