is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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