me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My penis needs a shock collar
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
