and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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