Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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