my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Randomize
