i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
