i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
