I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize