ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
