Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
