it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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