My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
