Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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