worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
