i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
tell me about the eggs
Randomize